You have to dive into the depths of life.

Give it a shot and enjoy the ride.

Hello again,

I am trying to keep the blogging up to date and put out some thoughts in the world so you can think with me. So here I am, feeling extremely tired but awake at 01:30 in the night writing this entry. I don't know how I feel about my health or that is my hypochondria (not diagnosed) or something like that but just bare with me in this text because I think I have something useful for you to say.

my messy life.

A dialogue with Nietzsche

Today I was listening to a Chiu Stream interview at youtube. I like to listen to things while working and what is better than listening to something art related. The people who are interviewed are amazing artists with their own view on the illustration scene. Most of them are concept artists and designers for movies and such.
The guy who does all these interviews is called Bobby Chiu from Imaginism studios and he is responsible for an online course with all these awesome professional concept artists. This course is called Schoolism and you can find it at Some months ago I had some direct questions to them about my portfolio and where I could focus on with my work and I got a really nice reply that helped me a lot.

But I wouldn't be that bastard CAVUM if there wasn't something to complain about. Actually there is not really something to complain about, I am just a cynical asshole so I have to mention something. Bobby Chiu and Schoolism is a really positive person and movement. Everyone can make it as long as you work hard, spend a lot of time and effort in what you do and never give up.
And I was thinking about this and in the base it is true. If you really want it you can get there. But you should keep your feet in contact with the ground. Yes, come down from that pink cloud and talk with me and Nietzsche.

Reality Check!!!

Here is your reality check: You don't know if you are going to make it and make a living from your artwork. You only hear succes stories, not the "failures". The people who lost interest and "gave up" for what reason so ever are not weak. Everyone has to pay the bills and some people who are damn amazing artists are not made to function in this world of illustration. You have to run a business, that is not something you can think light of. That is hard work and it is not all fun and love. You have to learn to love the struggle.
That is where I have to criticize Bobby Chiu. He made it, he build this big studio and did really amazing things. He does great stuff with his online courses and knows many awesome people in the field where you can learn from. But it is not for everyone. So after listening to so many interviews the message always is: Work hard, believe that you can make it, make a lot of artwork and find your place. Now there is a commercial message in these interviews as well. This is so damn smart of this man. He interviews people who also do these courses or even teach these courses. When the chance is there he will mention the Schoolism courses and that that will help you to become as big as the artist he is doing the interview with. So he does these great interviews with great artists where you can learn from. But in fact he is using these interviews to say that he and all the artists he talks with made it in the same way. Again, by working hard and so on and so forth. And schools is going to make it more easy for you.

That is true, and you don't have to go to art school to become an artist. Schoolism is probably a better way to become an artist since you really are learning something. But it does not guarantee that you will make it.

So now what? Are you never going to make it?

Does this mean you shouldn't do these courses? No, I even encourage to do this. Follow these type of courses. Go and make an account at and post your art for feedback. Do something like this and become awesome. But don't expect that all this work will make you a huge successful artist. If that was true you would find thousands and thousands of other artists who were all working on huge movies and games. That is not the case. But you should try it without any shame.
I always think about it like this. I fucked up my life enough, I don't have anything. I am poor, I can't go on vacation without drawing my way into a festival or something, I will make more money and have a more stable life when I go work in a restaurant. So I am rock bottom already and I love it since I can do what I love most, making art. When I come to the moment I should find a job because I can't pay the bills anymore thats fine. That would be the moment I can save some money and after some time I can go for the fulltime artist stuff again. Don't be that hard on yourself. The most important thing you can do is having fun at life and try to put out the goals you want to achieve. It is worth it when you can dream about it.

Thank you for reading once again and hope to speak to you soon!

Stay Weird,



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